Be Happy Now: Five Steps to Total Happiness
Have you ever wanted a step-by-step guide that would help you learn how to be completely, truly, authentically happy for the rest of your life? This is it! Our "Basics of Happiness" series does just that. We'll guide you through each step, explaining key concepts and offering examples and awareness-building exercises.
This is a currently running series on our Bliss Blog. You can subscribe to the blog via RSS or email, or just keep checking the site for new posts.
Be Ready
“Be ready?!?” you may be saying, incredulously. “Of course I’m ready to be happy! I’ve been ready my whole life!”
Really Choose, part 1
Like Be Ready, the title of this post may have you up in arms. “Really choose? Does anyone not really choose to be happy???” And, also like Be Ready, the answer might surprise you.
Really Choose, part 2
So, by now you’ve discovered your baseline state, and decided where you want to go from here. I’ll presume that since you’re reading this, you’ve decided you want to shift your baseline state to happiness and cultivate happiness as a state of being. Sweet! Let’s do it!
Open Wide
So here we are. We’re ready and we’re really choosing and now we’ve reached the end of the preparation for our journey into happiness as a state of being. The last step in choosing to be happy is to OPEN. OPEN WIDE. Really wide.
Step 1: Choose to be happy.
Introduction to Letting Go
If I were to estimate, I would say that probably half of learning to be happy as a state of being is letting go. Letting go is a huge part of health, happiness and life in general.
Get to Know Fred
Fred is my friend. He’s been with me since I was very little. He does everything he can to protect me. When something happens to me that makes me feel icky, scared, hurt, afraid or any other myriad of negative emotions, Fred makes note of it. Then, whenever a situation (or even the mere thought of the possibility of a situation) arises, Fred takes over my thoughts, feelings and actions. He does this to keep me from getting into icky situations. He does this to keep me safe. You have a Fred, too!
Learn to Manage Fred
Once you begin to see how Fred interacts with and limits your life, it’s time to learn how to manage him. Luckily, the easiest way to begin to manage him is simply to become aware of him. And there’s a really lovely trick to this.
See More Fred
Today, as promised, I give you more examples of Fred. The more you understand who or what Fred is, the easier it becomes to identify and manage him!
Cultivate Non-Attachment
There are two secret keys to effective letting go. The first one is Fred, whom we’ve been talking about for a little while now. The other one is attachment. Once you’ve learned to manage Fred and let go of attachment, you will be easily able to let go of anything when that’s the healthy choice for your life.
Get Off the Merry-Go-Round
You know the two secrets to letting go of unhealthy things in your life: Fred and attachment. Those two pieces create the framework for us to discuss precisely what it is we’re releasing. A really good place to begin letting go is thought and behavior patterns that are no longer serving or benefitting you.
Take a Stand Against Fear, Worry and Stress
Last week, we talked about stepping out of thought and behavior patterns that are no longer serving or benefitting us. I believe the most detrimental of these are the fear/worry/stress cycles that we all too often view as “normal” or “just part of life.”
Let Your Emotions Live Freely
Though fear, worry and stress usually affect us most in daily life, and therefore require special attention, emotions in general are largely misunderstood and tend to affect us in more lasting ways than necessary.
Be Willing to Let Go of Relationships
So, here it is, all at once, like taking off a Band-Aid: In order to be truly happy as a state of being, you must be willing to let go of relationships that no longer serve you — and especially those that harm you. And I’m not just talking about lovers or significant others. I mean friends and I mean family. I mean ANY relationship that no longer serves you — and especially those that harm you.
